


Birds of a Feather

by gaytriangle



Series: My True Love Gave To Me... [6]
Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern, Copious Goose Puns, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Domestic Fluff, F/M, puns, this is briennes life now
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 09:31:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 578
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17057228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaytriangle/pseuds/gaytriangle
Summary: Jaime loses a fight. Brienne would console him, loving as they are, but, well:Who decides to fight geese?





	Birds of a Feather

Jaime was confident in his appearance. It was, at various points, the only thing he had going for him. No honour, no hand, no Cersei: at least he stayed blonde and beautiful through it all, a blessing on the eyes of the mortals who gazed upon him. Not that he didn’t have bad days, but he generally managed ‘artfully dishevelled’ even at his worst. 

Well, before today. 

Even knowing that his dear girlfriend was the least likely woman in Westeros to tease him for his appearance, Jaime still suppressed a wince as he unlocked his front door. True to her rigid schedule, Brienne was on their cheap loveseat in a pair of well worn pajamas, half rewatching an old season of NCIS while waiting for him. “Jaime. Have you seen this one yet? They’re completely missing the point of invest- what in the seven hells happened to you?”

Jaime tried to put on a wounded air as Brienne crossed their living room in two strides, delicately pulling him into a hug and inspecting his wounds. He was covered in a not insubstantial amount of blood, in addition to some pesky feathers that he just couldn’t seem to remove from his hair one-handed. He was only adding melodrama to his tone, not pain. “Y’see, wench, on the way home to our humble castle, I was set upon by six ruffians. Devastated by my roguelike good looks, they wished to rob me of all I hold dear. Not that they stood a chance. You were still here.”

His darlings eyes narrowed, looking him up and down appraisingly even as she gently helped him onto the loveseat and began to make tea. “Bullshit.” Even the compliment, Jaime noticed, hadn’t knocked her completely off of her groove: yes, her cheeks were dusted red, but her hands were steady as she stirred, so he continued with his tale of woe. 

“Well, fine, maybe it wasn’t six, but,” Jaime gauged her expression, and decided the truth would be needed, “the one there was was fierce. Matched my height, easy, and wider than the Mountain! He had really sharp knives, Brienne, look at how he got me!”

Here, Jaime flexed his muscles, conveniently showing off his plethora of various scratches and scrapes. Brienne did give an appreciative look, but once she had passed him his cocoa, shook her head. “You ready to tell the truth yet, oh Lying Lannister?”

Jaime smirked appreciatively, then sighed. “A goose.”

Brienne dribbled some of her tea back into the mug. “Jaime, love, how did you start a fight with a goose?”

Jaime shrugged. “It was intimidated by my good looks. I think I ruffled some feathers.” Upon noting, with some glee, how exasperated Brienne looked, he gave a cheshire grin and continued. “Never would have caught me if I was at beak performance, but I was disarmed, and I couldn’t beat it on the fly. Better luck nest time, I have to-“

Jamie’s list of puns was interrupted by a very irate Brienne simply placing her lips on his until they stopped moving. “Very effective, that,” he murmured. Brienne wrapped her arm around his back, shaking her head. “How did I end up with you?” she said, approximately forty percent joking. “You didn’t want to leave me owl by my self?” he guessed, utterly deserving the shove to the floor. 

“Wren will you cut your losses,” Brienne said, stone-faced at even the look of betrayal on her boyfriends face.


End file.
